Acting

The spotlight beamed down on me. In the dizzying light, I became acutely aware of the itch on my scalp, the restlessness of my hands, and the stares from other actors. “So foul and fair a day---” I struggled to say the first line, my accent tripping me up, followed by a nervous chuckle as I tried to ease the awkwardness. During the first rehearsals, English stood as a formidable watershed, a linguistic obstacle that hindered my ability to engage and comprehend. Every word I murmured felt feeble, meaningless, and insignificant.

In our school’s immersive production of “Macbeth,” I wore many hats: the lead actor, a supervisor, playwright, director, and sound designer. I created a WeChat channel for rehearsals and meetings; I adapted scenes from the original text to fit our context and used Apple Music to create a 3-minute-long music for the pivotal scene of the witches’ meeting. As my responsibilities grew, so did my role as a trusted leader.

However, I found the biggest challenge to be confronting the mental hurdle that a foreign language imposed on me. Each time I uttered Macbeth’s lines, there lacked an emotional connection that breathes life into a character. The archaic vocabulary, idiomatic expressions, and cultural references all hindered my understanding of the Macbeth as a universal character with shared emotions and struggles. Determined to bridge this gap, I studied the script intensely and sought insights from my theater teacher. I read and practiced Macbeth’s soliloquies repeatedly, catching nuances in punctuations, repeated sounds, and particular word choices that reveal his state of mind. Grasping the emotional depth of Macbeth, I realized that my original performance of extreme ecstasy was not entirely accurate. Adjusting my approach, I used different tones and physical expressions to capture Macbeth’s rapidly shifting emotions, from ambition to guilt, fear, and internal struggles.

Through this process, I was able to feel a profound connection with Macbeth, transcending the limitations of language. On the day of the performance, hundreds of audiences filled the hall. With a raised voice and commanding postures, I declared my ambition to become king; as the story unfolded, however, my vanity quickly gave way to anguish and despair, leaving me groaning on the floor. As I shouted, whimpered, cried, or laughed, I saw the reflection of every emotion I portrayed in the audience’s eyes. In that moment, the lines blurred: I was Macbeth, and Macbeth was me.

This experience gave me the confidence to express myself, whether it’s through a new language or any medium. In group discussions, I used this newfound self-assurance to speak out my thoughts, challenge norms, and persuade. Outside the classroom, I actively engaged in serious discussions on society, policies, and health and wellness. I believe that self-expression creates opportunities for deeper connections.

This transformative experience helped break the boundaries that once confined my self-expression. Now, I am eager to use this newly gained power of self-expression to inspire not only individuals but also resonate within the school and the larger world.